2012 is gone and 2013 is here, and it's already mid January! So many people where posting and talking about plans, goals, vision boards, etc. I on the other hand was thinking "yes, I'm going to do this, plan that, reach that"... yet I still sat in the same spot, pen in hand with a blank page in front of me. I got caught up in the motivational speeches and videos but still had no idea where to start.
It became so obvious to me as I laid in bed one morning with the sun shining on me that I needed to start with ME. I thought about the past 2 years of my life, I have a tendancy to ignore my problems in the hopes that they'll go away (Wrong!). On the surface, I was having a ball with friends, going on dates, and just being free. I thought about a relationship that I was in, it was one where I truly could be me; silly, thoughtful, intelligent and sensual. There were no expectations, just us. I fell in love... not with him but the feeling of having no worries and no cares. I didn't want to let that feeling go until I realized I was running from taking care of the chaos that I allowed to develop over the past few years.
We all have issues that we are dealing with, NO ONE is problem free. But its all in how we handle adversity, some deal with it head on, others don't. I somewhere along the way, lost the fight I had in me. Somehow used up all the strength I had. I became tired, I gave up and gave in. Trying to be independent and all, I felt I couldn't ask for help. (God forbid Ms. Independent stepped down off her pedestal to ask for help!) I ALLOWED things to come tumbling down around me and ran for cover. I hid and thought by the grace of God things would get cleaned up on their own. Umm yeah, thats that "ignore the obvious" issue that I mentioned earlier.
So now I understand, in order to plan for the future, I must clean up the chaos I've created first in order to "see" clearly. I must admit I'm not perfect and yes sh*t happens. I am learning to master catching the bricks being thrown at me. I'm learning to use them to build a foundation for a better and prosperous future.
Goal #1: Admit I must start with me ~ DONE
As always Be Candy Coated
Love,
Stephanie
So now I understand, in order to plan for the future, I must clean up the chaos I've created first in order to "see" clearly. I must admit I'm not perfect and yes sh*t happens. I am learning to master catching the bricks being thrown at me. I'm learning to use them to build a foundation for a better and prosperous future.
Goal #1: Admit I must start with me ~ DONE
As always Be Candy Coated
Love,
Stephanie
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