Monday, April 14, 2014

The Masks We Wear





Remember when you were a kid and you were asked what you wanted to be for Halloween? You would pick out the superhero of the moment or the doll of choice or the favorite cartoon character.  After that night of trick or treating, you played with the mask for a few days and then the excitement and thrill faded and like many other toys, tossed in the corner... Remember that?

Well, now that you're older, why do you still wear a mask? Why do you still hide who you really are inside? I see so many people who are as sweet as pie, but they wear mask that's hardened, hurt and evil on the outside. Is it to protect themselves, a defense mechanism?  Then there are those who pretend to be such angels, but inside their blood runs cold and will turn on you as soon as the sun goes down. Do you know people like this?


Let's go a little deeper. What about the little girl who was molested as a child, by an uncle, cousin, father, neighbor, etc. She's been threatened to not say anything, or maybe she did and was told she was a liar. Now she's got the guilt of what she's been through and now she believes she's a liar. That's a huge mask to walk around in at school, around friends or at work pretending that all is right with the world.  How about the woman or girl who is physically abused day after day by a loved one, physically and verbally abused. She thinks its her fault, because that's what she's told, but she's knows that it's not but she can't seem to do anything about it. She goes to school or work and pretends that her family is NOT dysfunctional, but she is quiet, meek and doesn't say much for fear that they too will abuse her. One hell of mask right there.

I think you are getting my point of the masks that we put on willingly, but are afraid to take them off for fear of what people may say, think or do.  The mask of hurt, the mask of shame, the mask of blame, the mask of someone who is NOT you.

    "When you hold onto your history, you do it at the expense of your destiny" - TD Jakes

Sometimes those masks hurt more than the actual emotions that you're dealing with. It takes time and energy to hide. You have to think about what you will say when someone asks questions. You have to remember the lies that you told to cover for the person that is hurting you, you have to always ALWAYS be on alert so that no one will expose your inner truth. I bet you're wondering how I know... I've been there, I've worn masks, yes plural, sometimes a few at the same time. The mask of physical, verbal and mental abuse, the mask of low self-esteem, the mask of "I'm not good enough," the mask of depression,  the mask of uncertainty, shall I go on?

    "When you put all your energy into hiding... your presence suffers. Your future suffers. Your           PURPOSE suffers." - Stephanie Valentine

It took me a very long time to recognize that hiding only hindered my growth, if I could go back to a younger me, I would have poured insight and unconditional love into myself so that I would know, I was worthy, I was enough, I was different because I was made to make a difference in someone else's life.  I didn't know that then so I wore a mask to hide how I really felt, unloved. The same way that some of you wear a mask now.

I recognize it instantly in so many of our youth and young women, I see past the masks, I see the real you, I empathize with you. Remove the mask, start speaking life and love into yourself. Expose the hurt, the lies and tell the truth that is within. Allow, yes ALLOW yourself to heal so that you can move on and discover who you were born to be. You have greatness within you, believe that every trial and mishap that has happened in your life has purpose to make you stronger and  to build character. Don't bury it, use it as your stepping stool to reach higher heights. We all have CANDY inside of us, Confidence, Assertiveness, Nurturing spirit, Diversity and a uniqueness that is only YOU. Remove the mask, its time to heal and show the world you are beautiful.


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