Here's a Quick Way to Get Unstuck!

Hey Everyone!

October is well under way and yes that even means cold weather and cold weather blues. I am such a warm weather girl, love the sun, beaches and fun activities of summer. When the cool fall weather arrives and leaves begin to fall, I get a little sad. The sun is shining less and the leaves are dying, soooo depressing, geesh. Want to know how I channel that negative energy into something positive?

I start setting goals for the next year and begin planning how to reach them. What if you don't have a goal in mind, you're thinking? That's ok too, I've written up a 4 Step Guide to Becoming a Positive and Effective YOU! and guess what it's completely FREE!!!  I have used these 4 quick steps to help me get unstuck from many things, not just cold weather blues. Do you ever feel like you're on a hamster wheel, running fast but getting nowhere? Are of the thinking you're taking a different path, but somehow ending up at the same destination? Yes, me too, but you don't have to stay on the hamster wheel and you can end up exactly where you want to be.

Learning how to GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE is one step that is necessary for you to grow to new levels! I am super excited to write this quick guide for you and I really hope you enjoy it. Be sure to let me know your feedback either on Facebook or Twitter, or drop a comment below, I'd love to read it!

Be sure to download your copy today and don't let the cold weather blues keep you stuck!









As always,
Be Candy Coated!

30 Days of Gratitude for September!

It's September and like last year I am doing 30 Days Of Gratitude for this month. I had probably one of the worst years I can remember in 2013 and although I was being blessed the daggers continued to fly, harder and with force. After reading an article by Sophia Nelson on how we must always recognize the things we have and be thankful,  I decided to take the full month of September and express gratitude for what I have. It not only changed my mentality, but my spirit and soul was filled.

It's only September 2nd so it's not too late to join in! Grab a jar and paper or a journal and get started. You can enter as many things as you like but the idea is to focus on the things your are grateful for.

Share with me on Facebook or post a pic on Instagram and tag @becandycoated or tag me on Twitter @candycoatedbags

Did you know...?

Word Fact: What Is the Difference Between i.e. and e.g.? http://blog.dictionary.com/whats-the-difference-between-ie-and-eg/

Sunday Reflections

Every day is a day to reflect on things that life has taught you, but I especially like Sundays. There is something about the peaceful spirit that a Sunday afternoon brings to sit and just..reflect.

One of the things I like to tell my girls during workshops is to always be open to new positive experiences. Inspiration to fuel your growth is everywhere, you just have to be open to receive it.

Make a promise to yourself this week to be OPEN, to see the differences outside of your comfort zone. Try a new dish, try a new hang out, do something you wouldn't normally do.

And Still She Rises... My tribute to Maya Angelou

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings was my first introduction to her. Over the years I selfishly thought of her as my own mentor, counselor, advisor, friend. Her words were magnetic and soothing to my soul during times of trials and tribulation. Although I know we can't hold on to those we love forever, I just imagined that as I continued to grow into my purpose, I would still have her around to guide me.

The power of one woman to connect so many. To touch so deeply and help to enrich so many lives. She lived her life gracefully, confidently and never wavering from her truths. Maya Angelou left a legacy that will forever be untouched, honored and preserved. One can only imagine God's joy seeing how magnificently she lived out His purpose.  Job well done, a life not only of success but of significance has been lived right before our eyes.

As she takes her seat among so many greats, her spirit and legacy continues to live in all of our hearts. May you rest peacefully Maya Angelou, your presence will certainly be missed.

Are you an Introvert? It's not a dirty word!

I've been doing some reading and research on Introverts. Can you believe that I consider myself an introvert? I used to get embarrassed easily for things that most people would consider second nature, like standing in line waiting to get my lunch in grade school. OMG I can remember in the 3rd grade being so embarrassed and shy just to stand there waiting. I felt like everyone was staring at me, I just wanted to go back to my table and sit and watch everyone else. But here's the thing, I was just more comfortable watching, observing others move about the cafeteria and thinking. There's nothing wrong with that, however society makes it seem like being an introvert is dirty, that we must change in order to fit in. No, quite the contrary, introverts are thinkers, the ones who create and invent; Albert Einstein, J. K. Rowling, Christina Aquilera are often connected to being introverts. 

"Be nice to nerds. 

Chances are you'll be working for one" 

- Bill Gates

"Introversion is an inward orientation to life and extroversion is an outward orientation. Though you probably use both introversion and extroversion one of these orientations usually feels more like home - more comfortable, more interesting and more energizing- than the other. Introverts tend to gain energy by reflecting and expend energy when interacting. Extroverts have the opposite preference; they tend to gain energy by interacting and expend energy while reflecting." - Excerpt from Introvert Power, Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength

This is TOTALLY ME:  Introverts tend to gain energy by reflecting and expend energy when interacting. I am perfectly fine interacting with others but it is imperative that I have my solitude, quiet time to myself to think, process and reflect on things that just happened, people I've met and conversations that I've had. 

When I submitted and accepted my introversion, I found the core of who I really was. I am a thinker, I've always had ideas that were beyond what my peers could see. I've always been an observer, mentally learning from others without doing anything. I'm okay with that, its who I am. There are more people like me, but they'll just nod and smile and take mental note, saying "yes, I am not alone"



As always, 
Be Candy Coated!

Maximize Your CANDY Pieces!

5 Ways to maximize your CANDY pieces:

1) Surround yourself with positive people
2) Love your self - positive affirmations
3) Change your thoughts,  change your outcome
4) Do something different,  new experiences
5) Journaling - tell your truth

As always, Be Candy Coated! 

What are you waiting for?

We wait and wait for the right time, that right moment when the stars align, the moon is high, and all that other good stuff. But if you start, take a step and not wait for someone to say GO, you'll realize you were always ready. You have the power to start anytime you want.

As always,
Be CANDY Coated

To Be or Not To Be

Is it really easier to be someone that makes it easier for others to accept? Or hide something that others won't accept? What about the damage that its doing to you mentally and emotionally? Are your relationships a depiction of truth or based on a mask that you have introduced?

The Mask of Un-forgiveness

It's Day 3 of our Hot Topic Week "The Masks We Wear" and I have received some great questions and comments about it. Yesterday I received quite a few in regards to forgiveness and being able to forgive those that have hurt or hindered you. This post was inspired by all the conversation and one in particular led to a breakthrough of why the cycle has continued.

We've all heard that forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you to release the pain and hurt and to move forward with your life. Its sounds easy enough but its not. This young lady stated she had moved past the feelings of hurt and "why me," she understood it happened to her but did not define her, she also helps to speak with young ladies like herself to let them know "its not their fault." Commendable indeed, but when I asked about if she is still wearing the mask, she said "I don't feel as though I wear a mask as you say, I am past the why's and who's, its their issue no longer mine, I have dealt with those issues that I had that made me ashamed. But I am true to my feelings about my Mom and can not forgive her for allowing it to happen to me. She knew and I told like I was supposed to, but she didn't care. I don't speak with her and our relationship has never been the same but I have moved on. What's done is done"

It took me a moment to respond because, in that release, I felt her pain still there, I felt the hurt and betrayal she felt from the one person she needed to save her. I felt the longing of a relationship that every little girl needs. She's now a grown woman, but inside she's a broken girl. What they don't tell you about forgiveness is you have to be mentally and emotionally ready. You have to be mentally ready because you have to have seriously dealt with what happened to you. Believe that it was not about you, but the other person. Know that it happened to you but was never about you. You have to accept that what happened may have changed your life but you NEED to look for the lesson and learn from it, its a life lesson that you needed to learn in no other way. Emotionally, you have to have processed all the above, the need for revenge is no longer there, the why me and how, you no longer need an answer, all you want is release from the weight that it bears. Forgiveness is a process, but you have to be willing to go through it to move on. When you are unforgiving, you hold on to that hurt and anger, it eats away at you. It makes you bitter, oh you say, I'm not bitter, but the actions scream it out loud. "I don't speak with her" .... "I have moved on."  

People don't always know what they do, and they don't always know the extremity of the hurt they've caused. This young lady is missing out on her present relationship with her Mom, who she stated later that she misses her, needs her at times, wants her to have a relationship with her grandson, but it's those words "I can not forgive her" that is standing in the way. Her present is suffering, her future will suffer.

After awhile, the inbox messages became a phone call and this young lady admitted she has tried to forgive, but she doesn't know how... and there it is. We wear the mask of un-forgiveness because we don't know how to forgive and don't know where to start.  It starts with admitting it and then having a conversation about your true feelings. Removing the mask, admitting your feelings and committing to dealing with them. Forgiving is not easy, but its NECESSARY for yourself, NOT the other person. I am glad I was able to speak with and help this young lady. 

                                   

        

Be Candy Coated
Join the discussion on facebook or post your comments, thoughts and feedback here. 
Tweet Me @Candycoatedbags and use Hashtag #RemoveTheMask
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Photo credits:
idlehearts.com
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The Masks We Wear

Remember when you were a kid and you were asked what you wanted to be for Halloween? You would pick out the superhero of the moment or the doll of choice or the favorite cartoon character.  After that night of trick or treating, you played with the mask for a few days and then the excitement and thrill faded and like many other toys, tossed in the corner... Remember that?

Well, now that you're older, why do you still wear a mask? Why do you still hide who you really are inside? I see so many people who are as sweet as pie, but they wear mask that's hardened, hurt and evil on the outside. Is it to protect themselves, a defense mechanism?  Then there are those who pretend to be such angels, but inside their blood runs cold and will turn on you as soon as the sun goes down. Do you know people like this?


Let's go a little deeper. What about the little girl who was molested as a child, by an uncle, cousin, father, neighbor, etc. She's been threatened to not say anything, or maybe she did and was told she was a liar. Now she's got the guilt of what she's been through and now she believes she's a liar. That's a huge mask to walk around in at school, around friends or at work pretending that all is right with the world.  How about the woman or girl who is physically abused day after day by a loved one, physically and verbally abused. She thinks its her fault, because that's what she's told, but she's knows that it's not but she can't seem to do anything about it. She goes to school or work and pretends that her family is NOT dysfunctional, but she is quiet, meek and doesn't say much for fear that they too will abuse her. One hell of mask right there.

I think you are getting my point of the masks that we put on willingly, but are afraid to take them off for fear of what people may say, think or do.  The mask of hurt, the mask of shame, the mask of blame, the mask of someone who is NOT you.

    "When you hold onto your history, you do it at the expense of your destiny" - TD Jakes

Sometimes those masks hurt more than the actual emotions that you're dealing with. It takes time and energy to hide. You have to think about what you will say when someone asks questions. You have to remember the lies that you told to cover for the person that is hurting you, you have to always ALWAYS be on alert so that no one will expose your inner truth. I bet you're wondering how I know... I've been there, I've worn masks, yes plural, sometimes a few at the same time. The mask of physical, verbal and mental abuse, the mask of low self-esteem, the mask of "I'm not good enough," the mask of depression,  the mask of uncertainty, shall I go on?

    "When you put all your energy into hiding... your presence suffers. Your future suffers. Your           PURPOSE suffers." - Stephanie Valentine

It took me a very long time to recognize that hiding only hindered my growth, if I could go back to a younger me, I would have poured insight and unconditional love into myself so that I would know, I was worthy, I was enough, I was different because I was made to make a difference in someone else's life.  I didn't know that then so I wore a mask to hide how I really felt, unloved. The same way that some of you wear a mask now.

I recognize it instantly in so many of our youth and young women, I see past the masks, I see the real you, I empathize with you. Remove the mask, start speaking life and love into yourself. Expose the hurt, the lies and tell the truth that is within. Allow, yes ALLOW yourself to heal so that you can move on and discover who you were born to be. You have greatness within you, believe that every trial and mishap that has happened in your life has purpose to make you stronger and  to build character. Don't bury it, use it as your stepping stool to reach higher heights. We all have CANDY inside of us, Confidence, Assertiveness, Nurturing spirit, Diversity and a uniqueness that is only YOU. Remove the mask, its time to heal and show the world you are beautiful.


Be Candy Coated
Join the discussion on facebook or post your comments, thoughts and feedback here. 
Tweet Me @Candycoatedbags and use Hashtag #RemoveTheMask
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Candy Coated Bags - Fall 2013 Pre View!!

Hey Everyone,

Fall is coming and Candy Coated Bags is stocking up to bring you the sweetness! Make sure you are on the Facebook page for updates and more sneak peeks of what's to come (click and like here)

Take a peek at what's coming:

www.shopccbags.com

These sweet little handbags will be available on September 15th at www.shopccbags.com.  As always, Candy Coated Soiree's are always being booked online and in person. Contact me for information on how you can book yours!!!

The First Week of Gratitude - Recap

Hey Everyone!

We are at Day 7 of the 30 Days of Gratitude, I hope you have joined us in reflecting in all things that are good to release the negativity that surrounds us daily. Some people have posted on the Be Candy Coated Facebook page and others are quietly reflecting using a journal or a gratitude jar. The choice is yours, but I really want all of us to share in this journey in some way, shape or form. So here is my recap of my grateful moments for Week 1:


September 1st: Grateful for the support of my parents helping me to raise my kids.
September 2nd: Grateful for Notebooks, pens and pencils. Writing in my journal is a way to release emotions
September 3rd: Thankful for the ability and courage to bounce back!
September 4th: Grateful for the privilege of prayer. When there is nothing else left to do, you can pray.
September 5th: Simply thankful for what is, not what was or whats to come, but just grateful for the present moment
September 6th: Mentors! Oh how grateful I am to have a wise, experienced person to guide me through life!
Today, September 7th: I am grateful for friends. Real friends that keep me grounded and pull me back from the edge.

I hope you will continue to post on Facebook or comment on these posts. I enjoy reading your grateful moments!

Until next time,
Be Candy Coated!!

30 Days of Gratitude in September

Hey Everyone!

I hope you are all doing well and ready to enjoy this 3 day holiday weekend. Labor Day is generally known as the last holiday of the summer, an end to hot weather, family vacations, summer romances and good times. What are your plans for this weekend? I am looking forward to relaxation and restoring of my mind and spirit. Sunday is September 1st and I have challenged myself to start 30 Days of Gratitude on my facebook page Be Candy Coated. I was inspired by Sophia Nelson during her keynote speech at the Women In the Spotlight's 3rd Annual Brunch. She indicated how doing so left her loving and respecting her life more for what she already has. I thought to myself, I've never taken a span of time to just continuously recognize all that I am grateful for, wow. 2013 has been a year of significant trials for me, but in each trial I came out tremendously blessed with revelations. It's been a year of personal growth and discovery. I have a lot to be thankful for!

Join me on Facebook as I start my journey of truly being thankful in all that I have, starting September 1st through September 30th. Please post your grateful moments too!!

www.facebook.com/BeCandyCoated

Until next time,

Enjoy your day!

$25 Summer Clearance Sale

#TextCutie

Be Candy Coated is expanding!

Under the umbrella of Candy Coated Bags, Be Candy Coated has expanded into a mentoring and empowerment program! With all the great doors that have been opening up, it was inevitable! No longer a concept or idea, Be Candy Coated will now offer Empowerment Workshops for adolescent girls in addition to updates to the blog to help continue the movement in helping them to become the Bold, Confident women they were born to be! Launching in the fall of 2013...Stay tuned for details!

In the meantime like the page on facebook Be Candy Coated and be sure to sign up to get Be Candy Coated posts and updates in your mail box!

What you will begin seeing here on the blog is more posts on how to motivate, inspire and love the true essence of who you are. Fashion, beauty, and AWESOME handbags are a staple on this site so no need to worry my fashion and beauty readers, you will get your fill of posts! I am very excited about this new expansion and looking forward to what's to come, I hope you feel the same.

Until next time, enjoy your day!!

Don't wait, your time is now!

Hey Everyone,

Just wanted to pass along some motivation. We all have stated at one time or another "I'm going to wait until..." and how many times have we let opportunities pass?!! Well check out what Marshawn Evans has to say in the article below! Be inspired, Be Candy Coated!!

Your Time is Now: 4 Ways to Step into Your Purpose as a Speaker & Messenger | Marshawn Evans

Marshawn Evans is a Global Mentor and Catalyst for Women looking to Launch Their Dreams and Live Their Purpose. She equips others to AMPLIFY their lives, their leadership and their legacy by teaching the principles of influence, branding, and divine purpose. Her weekly eZine goes out to thousands of subscribers worldwide. Are you ready to unleash your brilliance and align with your REAL destiny? Sign up for a FREE subscription at http://marshawnevans.com.

FOR MORE INSPIRATIONAL ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE...

Check out Marshawn's blog at http://MarshawnEvans.com/blog.

Can't Stop, Won't Stop

Last Thursday, I lost my cool while mentoring. Those girls were so unruly, I couldn't take it. But it reminded me why mentoring and guidance is so needed in our community. Right now, they have no real role models besides so called entertainers. I am no where near perfect but I accepted the responsibility to help these young ladies do better now so they can become better later. What are you doing to help?

Ready, Set, Go! Now what?

2012 is gone and 2013 is here, and it's already mid January! So many people where posting and talking about plans, goals, vision boards, etc. I on the other hand was thinking "yes, I'm going to do this, plan that, reach that"... yet I still sat in the same spot, pen in hand with a blank page in front of me. I got caught up in the motivational speeches and videos but still had no idea where to start.

It became so obvious to me as I laid in bed one morning with the sun shining on me that I needed to start with ME. I thought about the past 2 years of my life, I have a tendancy to ignore my problems in the hopes that they'll go away (Wrong!). On the surface, I was having a ball with friends, going on dates, and just being free. I thought about a relationship that I was in, it was one where I truly could be me; silly, thoughtful, intelligent and sensual. There were no expectations, just us. I fell in love... not with him but the feeling of having no worries and no cares. I didn't want to let that feeling go until I realized I was running from taking care of the chaos that I allowed to develop over the past few years.

We all have issues that we are dealing with, NO ONE is problem free. But its all in how we handle adversity, some deal with it head on, others don't. I somewhere along the way, lost the fight I had in me. Somehow used up all the strength I had. I became tired, I gave up and gave in. Trying to be independent and all, I felt I couldn't ask for help. (God forbid Ms. Independent stepped down off her pedestal to ask for help!)  I ALLOWED things to come tumbling down around me and ran for cover. I hid and thought by the grace of God things would get cleaned up on their own. Umm yeah, thats that "ignore the obvious" issue that I mentioned earlier.
So now I understand, in order to plan for the future, I must clean up the chaos I've created first in order to "see" clearly. I must admit I'm not perfect and yes sh*t happens. I am learning to master catching the bricks being thrown at me. I'm learning to use them to build a foundation for a better and prosperous future.
Goal #1: Admit I must start with me ~ DONE
As always Be Candy Coated
Love,
Stephanie

Free Handbag Giveaway!!!

Hey Everyone! I'm on a mission to get to 1000 likes before 1/1/13. I'm 120 likes away so I need your help! If you haven't already please like my page on facebook (just click on facebook) Candy Coated Bags. Tell your friends too, please and thanks in advance!!